Once again I am writing at night by candlelight just as Marcus Aurelius, the philosopher Emperor, would have done, when writing his own ‘Meditations’ in his military tent all those centuries ago.

His writings have come to be known by that title, but the first ever printed version (in 1559) was called ‘To Himself’. That is what Marcus is doing in his ‘Meditations’: he is writing to himself and for himself. He wishes to remind himself of what is important to him in his life.

‘It is meet I set it down in my tables’ says Hamlet in Shakespeare’s play and Marcus thinks so too: to set down in writing what he has learnt from his reading and his tutors, from what he has experienced and observed and from the people in his life that have most influenced him. Is it not ‘meet’ (right) for us to do the same: to set down what is important to us in our lives in our own ‘tables’: our books or electronic tablets?

It is remarkable that the Emperor Marcus does not begin by meditating on his career successes. Anyway, they are inscribed and sculpted on a huge column in the Piazza Colonna in Rome (probably after his death, as he spent very little time in Rome during his reign). No: he begins by making a list of all the relatives and friends who have impressed him and what he has tried to learn from them and put into practice. For example:

“From my grandfather Verus: decency and a mild temper.

From my mother: piety, generosity, the avoidance of wrong-doing and even of the thought of it and simplicity of living.

From Severus: love of family, love of truth, love of justice.

From Catullus: not to spurn a friend’s criticism even if it may be an unreasonable complaint but to try to restore his usual feelings.”

Later on (in Book 6) he writes: ‘Whenever you want to cheer yourself up think of the good qualities of your friends’.

As someone who is addicted to friendship and I think now, born for friendship rather than relationships, I find this amazing, humbling and true.

I am reminded of a miserable day I once spent alone in Paris. I had ended up in the Sacre Coeur Basilica in Montmartre, which seemed too large and grand for the mood I was in. So I ended up round the corner in the church of Saint-Pierre de Montmartre, one of the oldest churches in Paris. I found myself sitting in a small chapel with a stained glass window ahead of me. It was modern, abstract and multi-coloured. The window reminded me of all my friends, how they all shone in different ways like each individual pane does and yet were linked through knowing me. But windows need to be kept clean and polished. And so I was reminded too of my duty to keep my friendships in good repair. And, like Marcus, that afternoon my spirits were lifted by thinking of my friends.

Perhaps my own list in my own meditations should begin:

‘From Marcus Aurelius: to appreciate my friends and keep my friendships in good repair.’

Ave atque vale – Hail and Farewell! Till the next blog.