I am writing this late at night by candlelight as the Emperor Marcus Aurelius would have done in his tent on his endless military campaigns. As I gaze at the flickering flame, I am reminded of Shakespeare’s ‘Macbeth’, my last production. ‘Out, out brief candle’ says Macbeth as he laments for his dead wife. A flickering candle reminds us of the brevity of life, how fragile it is. Perhaps, that flickering candle urged Marcus on, to get his thoughts onto paper before the darkness of death engulfed him. St Francis says, ‘All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle’ And neither can the darkness of death.   

I am no emperor nor a philosopher emperor, as Marcus was. I am merely a retired drama teacher. Although, as a joke, sometimes I would call my department ‘my empire.’  I have not led armies on long military campaigns across the plains of Europe as Marcus did, though directing a play with young people (and on tour in Hungary) can seem as grueling. Marcus was in Hungary too, of course. It was called Pannonia then, back in the second century. Coins from his reign have been found in the Buda hills. I have one myself.

Now I have given up my empire. Marcus didn’t have to give up his. He died an emperor and of natural causes (although there is a story that he ate a poisoned apple). But, like dear Marcus, as I reach my final years, it is time for me to reflect upon life and to write down my reflections for whoever wishes to read them. 

Scholars now believe that Marcus didn’t compose his ‘Meditations’ in his final years. He was probably writing them down throughout his adult life. They are fragmentary, almost a diary.  And this blog will be the same. Only, unlike Marcus, I have never taken the time to write my thoughts down before, so I will be producing them from the battered and much-travelled suitcase of my brain.

Now that I have the time, I am also able to concentrate on my own writing. I have learnt that writers these days, aside from parchment and quill, notebook and typewriter, need to have a blog. So, I will be telling you all about my own writing in this blog too.  

‘Blog’ is an ugly word for someone sharing their soul with others across the web. It sounds like an Anglo-Saxon word from centuries ago. I am reminded of the phrase ‘men of slog’ in the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle, which means ‘men were slain’ in a battle. I guess ‘men of blog’ might mean ‘people were blogging’ or ‘people shared a blog’. I hope you will not think my thoughts as ugly or cumbersome as the word ‘blog’ as you read them.

So, my friends, as you have listened to me over the years with patience, gentleness and good humour, I ask you to read this occasional blog in the same way. And, dear readers whom I have never met, I ask you to do the same.  

Ave atque vale – Hail and Farewell! Till the next blog.

Contact Neil Zoladkiewicz: nzolad53@gmail.com

 

(Photo’s by Ciaran Inns https://www.ciaranfrederick.co.uk/